Deep Thinkings from an Average Sized Mind

Daily Doodle: I Was Always Suspicious as a Kid

2010-09-29T11:03:00.001-07:00

Daily Doodle: Underwater DUI

2010-09-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: Procrastinating Noah

2010-09-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: A Banana Flashing A Pear

2010-09-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Quick Thought

2010-09-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

If you see a cannibal hanging out at McDonalds, don't try to run because he probably likes fast food.

Daily Doodle: The Oldest Jedi Mind Trick in the Book

2010-09-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: Why Midgets Can't Wear Red Jackets

2010-09-10T20:02:00.001-07:00

Daily Doodle: The Power Rangers Being Randomly Assigned Their Colors

2010-09-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: When Squids Fart

2010-09-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

THE BLOG IS BACK

2010-09-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

I know, its been a few months, get off my back. I'm blogging again, happy?!

This time around I'm gonna take things much more serious, I mean, I'm really gonna open up and pour my heart out onto this blog. Get ready to cry.

Tip of the Day

2010-04-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

When playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with a crab,
always pick Rock.

Daily Doodle: Conjoined Twin Commits Suicide

2010-04-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

quick thought

2010-04-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

maybe slugs are just snails who couldn't pay their mortgage

Daily Doodle: 300, Spartan is Hesitant About Getting Mandatory Chest Wax

2010-04-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: Where's Waldo: China (The Easiest Book)

2010-03-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

The greatest band ever: The Buu

2010-03-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

If I ever started my own band I'd call the group The Buu. That way, if a show starts going bad and the audience starts booing, they'd just be chanting our band name.

Thanks for the support, losers.

quick thought

2010-03-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

If soccer players looked like pieces of grilled chicken and vegetables, then shish kabob would be edible Foosball.

Daily Doodle: The Little Mermaid 3: Ariel goes to China

2010-03-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

poetic

2010-03-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And got eaten by a bear

Daily Doodle: Prince Phillip Succombs to Peer Pressure

2010-03-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: Layoffs at the Chocolate Factory Cause Problems

2010-03-16T13:45:00.000-07:00

Just Bad

2010-03-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

I have never participated in a Blood Drive, unless you count the 2 mosquitoes that were in my car this morning on the ride to school.

Quick Thought

2010-03-15T07:24:00.001-07:00

If your name was Pete and you lived in Texas, it sure would be a shame if you weren't hot.

Tooth-Fairy makes Bank

2010-03-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

If I had gold teeth I'd probably get real pissed when one of them falls out and I can't find it and then I see there is a quarter under my pillow.

The Upside of Elephantiasis

2010-03-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

yes it's been months without a post, but I'm back on the blog to provide you with useless thoughts and dry humorless jokes:

The one time of the year when people with Elephantiasis don't feel like total freaks of nature is during exams.

There's no stress to study because elephants never forget

quick thought

2010-01-21T07:44:00.001-08:00

I bet that White Castle burgers were made by accident, ... by a midget

Try New Things

2010-01-16T23:13:00.000-08:00

What if the human brain was actually very delicious and tasted like barbecue pork roast, and we would never know...

This is why I want to be buried instead of cremated; because I still haven't ruled out the possibility of a zombie apocalypse.

Old School Game

2010-01-15T15:21:00.000-08:00

If I was the one who hired new doctors at the hospital, I'd be sure not to hire any doctor who sucked at the game Operation as a kid, because you never know when a fat clown might show up for surgery, needing his wishbone and stomach butterflies removed.

An Education Rant

2010-01-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish more people would study harder in school, actually learn the material and increase their knowledge, instead of trying to squeeze by with a C-,

I also wish those people could write legibly and sit right in front of me in Algebra class.

Forgotten Memory #10

2010-01-11T21:54:00.000-08:00

I used to love to play hide-and-seek as a kid, but not as much as my dad.

My dad would always play surprise hide-and-seek. That's where instead of counting to 10, we would hide when we heard the siren.
The only rules were to find a good hiding spot for yourself and also for the zip-lock bags of flour, then Dad would invite all the police to play too;
you had to be real quiet or else you'd lose.

I guess some people never lose that child-like innocence

Dream-Catchers:

2010-01-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

For people who want to chase after their dreams, but are too lazy to run.

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-09T12:38:00.000-08:00

This new year I have made a resolution to be a more trustworthy friend.
I have not always been the most truthful person, so this year I want to show my friends that they can believe what I say, confide in me when they have deep secrets, and trust me when I tell them that what they're eating is a burrito and not coffee grounds and trash rolled in a flour tortilla with lettuce on the outside to hide all the sand I packed in there.

"man it doesn't smell bad, must be your imagination, I just picked it up from taco bell, . . . Trust me."

Guy with a Dot on His Head

2010-01-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

The other day I saw one of those Indian guys with a red dot on his forehead, so I stopped to ask him about his religion and culture.

All he told me was that he wan't Indian and then the sniper behind me pulled the trigger and blew the guys head off.

I guess Indians will do anything to get out of a conversation about religion...

Vest's Purpose Revieled

2010-01-06T09:26:00.001-08:00

I think vests are just for people with hairy arms.

For instance,

"hey man, this jacket has sleeves, I have hairy arms, now my arms will be double warmed.

I now have a disproportionate heat ratio across the surface of my body. Sombody get this man a vest STAT!"

quick thought

2010-01-04T12:56:00.000-08:00

For a blind person, Bubble Wrap is poppable literature.

Still Thinking

2010-01-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

If I was a Bedbug, every motel would be a Bed & Breakfast.

another quick thought

2010-01-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

I'd rather be a dolphin trainer than a dog trainer, because it's easier to blame a pool accident on the dolphin than it is to blame wetting your pants on the dog

What To Do With All That Change

2010-01-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

I have a jar back home full of change; quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies, but I dont plan on ever taking them to a coinstar.

I'm gonna melt them down and make bullets out of them, so that if I ever rob a bank and I'm about to shoot the place up, I can be like, "Ive got a deposit to make, SUCKAS!"

quick thought...

2010-01-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

If slugs grew to an enormous size and gained a superior intelligence, it would probably become

offensive to act "sluggish".

1st post of the new year is the 200th post!

2010-01-02T11:17:00.001-08:00

ok I will be honest, i totally forgot that I owned a blog. but now that I have found it, I will resume writing down all my random and incoherant thoughts...

Daily Doodle: Whether it's a big, small, or just fast food, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2009-11-24T21:44:00.000-08:00

Daily Doodle: Josh and Byron at the new Twilight premire

2009-11-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

quick thought

2009-11-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Frozen yogurt is not the equivalent of Ice Cream. The only time you should buy frozen yogurt is when you want regular yogurt, in like a day from now.

in bad taste

2009-11-20T07:14:00.000-08:00

When ever I meet someone with Parkinson's Disease, I don't usually shake their hand; they don't need any help with that.

Daily Doodle: This one's for you Justin

2009-11-14T17:31:00.001-08:00

Daily Doodle: Cow and Potato on an Akward Lunch Date

2009-11-13T07:32:00.001-08:00

Another Unnecessarily Morbid Doodle: The Count

2009-11-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

Daily Doodle: For the Nerds

2009-11-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

Daily Doodle: Don't Play With Your Food

2009-11-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

Daily Doodle: A Dark Day in Disneyland

2009-11-09T00:37:00.000-08:00

Daily Doodle: Biology Class is the Worst

2009-11-06T07:02:00.001-08:00

Daily Doodle: Confusing Roadsigns

2009-11-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

Nicknames

2009-11-02T22:54:00.000-08:00

No matter how much she likes to jump on trampolines, Trampy is never a good nickname.

Sound Advice

2009-11-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

One time my friend Dave called asking me where the best place to wait out an electrical storm would be.
I told him that the safest place to be is actually the last spot that the lightning has struck. This is because lightning never strikes twice in the same place.

So no, I didn't directly tell him to climb to the top of a lightning rod in an open field in Colorado.

Daily Doodle: Why Barney Was Canceled

2009-11-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

quick thought

2009-11-01T19:05:00.001-08:00

few things are more ironic than a mosquito on a vampire

Finding Positive in the Negitive

2009-11-01T19:00:00.000-08:00

The good thing about being anorexic is that you're the least likely to be targeted by cannibals.

Doughnut People

2009-11-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

If I ever woke up and found out that I was made out of doughnuts, instead of eating myself, I'd start a support group for other people who are made out of doughnuts and have to fight the urge everyday to not eat themselves. I'd provide a one on one therapy for doughnut people, and by therapy, I mean that I would eat them one at a time so that I can keep from eating myself.

Also, to keep me from eating myself, I'd eat a lot of jelly because everyone can agree that jelly filled doughnuts are disgusting.

Daily Doodle: Don't Trust The Neighbors

2009-10-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

Daily Doodle: The Backwards Mermaid Runs Away

2009-10-28T13:32:00.001-07:00

Daily Doodle: Too Many Points...

2009-10-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Quick Sketches

2009-10-27T23:01:00.000-07:00

This post is for the other bloggers out there who read my thinkings from time to time, see if you can guess who's who.

The Umbrella is a dead give away

The ladies man

Rhymes with "Cake"

Forgotten Memory #9

2009-10-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

People hated my Grandpa for being a cannibal, but not me.
To me, Grandpa was just a sweet old man who cooked delicious soups and pork-chops like you've never tasted.

It's the rest of my family that I resent, because they all left me to fend for myself when they mysteriously vanished.

But Grandpa comforts me by saying that, "In a way, they're still with me, inside me..."

Mermaids have it better

2009-10-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

It probably sucked to be a Merman because as cool as leather jackets are, they are still susceptible to water damage.

Why Clowns Are So Scary

2009-10-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

I think the reason that so many clowns are turning into evil clowns is because they were just constantly being laughed at on their old job.

My problem with Emergency Brakes

2009-10-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

I think the car manual needs to clarify what's considered to be an "emergency".

Because when I drove my car off a bridge into a deep lake and began sinking to the bottom, I figured the regular brakes would be useless, but the E brake too?

I'd consider DROWNING to be an emergency!

Great Zoo Prank

2009-10-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

Heres a good prank to pull on your buddies when you go to the zoo. Hop the wall into the alligator tank and swim up to the alligator, open his mouth with your hands and put your head into it's mouth.
Then start flailing your arms and screaming "HELP!! HELP!! I'M BEING EATEN!!!",
That'll really freak all your friends out, especially with all that blood that's mixing into the water.

Octo-pants

2009-10-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

An octopus who wears pants is a brave octopus because once you ink yourself, face it, those pants are ruined.

Preparing for the Future

2009-10-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

People say that children are the future. Which is why I'm investing in an ice cream truck.

Sci-Fi

2009-10-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

I always wondered why there were so many Starship Commanders in sci-fi stories, but if you think about it, Squareship commanders just don't get as much attention.

Just Use a Gun

2009-10-03T17:05:00.001-07:00

If you're hunting in Australia and you have absolutely no short-term memory, the boomerang is not the weapon for you.

quick thought

2009-10-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

Pancakes are just like edible Frisbees, except floppier.

Bit of a Stretch

2009-09-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

I think I'm gonna start taking Yoga classes because if I've learned anything from Pretzels, it's that people find flexibility delicious.

Apoco-Tacos

2009-09-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

If civilization was destroyed and we lived in a post-apocalyptic world where only the strongest survived, you would think the surviving human tribes wouldn't be eating tacos, but you'd be wrong.
We would.

How To Make French Fries

2009-09-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

Who thought that shooting a potato from a spud-gun at a screen door would make French Fries?

I did, but I was wrong, it only made a hole in the screen and knocked out my neighbor's dog.

How could I know that spud-guns were so powerful?

Gorilla Warfare

2009-09-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

If I ever got in a war against Gorillas I would probably use banana guns instead of regular guns. But I would use wax bananas as ammo instead of regular bananas.

Defeat them with disappointment.

Shoot For The Stars, Even If You Miss You'll Hit The Moon

2009-09-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

Telling students to "shoot for the stars" is actually bad advice because if they succeed, they'll be burned alive by the UV exposure.

I considered failing the 4th grade to be a better alternative, but my parents just didn't understand the argument.

It's Like Stealing Quarters From a Fairy...

2009-09-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

The best way to make money while you sleep is to put baby teeth and mousetraps under your pillow,

then you wait...

Why I Didn't Like The Titanic

2009-09-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

I usually enjoy a good laugh, but I didn't like the movie The Titanic because for a comedy I thought the actors did a horrible job at being funny.

Baby Slings

2009-09-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

I bet kangaroos got really pissed when humans invented Baby Slings, cause that was kinda like their thing.

Books keep American Youth Un-Corrupted

2009-09-23T07:44:00.000-07:00

People complain that television and video games are corrupting America's youth and people aren't reading and using their imagination like they used to. Personally, I've never been a big fan of books.
I think its the pages; I just don't like pages. Maybe if they just have pictures instead,... that move around... with sound effects, voice talent and music to back them up. And books should come with an adapter that displays the story on my television screen, and a remote control so I can select the bonus features from the couch.

Make some books like that and I'd give up movies for life.

Fanny Pack Snatching

2009-09-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

I think Fanny Packs are safer than Purses, because a Purse-Snatcher can easily run by and grab a purse from your hand, but the Purse-Snatcher can't grab your Fanny Pack because he's just a Purse-Snatcher and doesnt know any Fanny-Pack-Snatchers because there's no such thing as a Fanny-Pack-Snatcher as there's just too many syllables in the name to make it worthwhile.

My Medieval War Plan

2009-09-20T13:00:00.001-07:00

If I could go back in time to be a catapult operator in a medieval war, I would use the catapult to shoot a smaller catapult over to the enemy's side that was only big enough to shoot small rocks,
so the enemy could shoot small rocks all day but they'd just bounce off our armor and we'd all laugh at them.

Then, all at once, we'd pull out all the guns that I brought with me from the future and slaughter the other army changing the course of history forever.

Pirate Cyclops

2009-09-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

I bet what sucks most about being a Pirate Cyclops is that you'd never get to see how cool you look with an eyepatch.

quick advice

2009-09-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

If a genie ever comes out of lamp and tells you that you can have three wishes but you can't wish for more wishes,

wish for a different genie who is less anal about wishing regulations.

Is That The Flour?

2009-09-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

If I was a biochemist who makes anthrax I would not also be a biscuit maker. Especially if your lab is also your kitchen.

Also I would not be a biscuit maker because that's a lame job

not even a joke

2009-09-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I parked my car under a tree and birds crapped all over it, so today I took a dump in its nest to show him what it feels like.

Let The Terminator Drive

2009-09-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

If you ever invite Arnold Schwarzenegger on a road trip, don't call "shotgun" because you wouldn't want there to be a misunderstanding...

Crazy Indians

2009-08-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

Some crazy natives in India claim they can eat whole mice alive, but I prefer to give hugs when I'm looking for that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

quick thought

2009-08-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

Unicorns probably aren't allowed to play soccer because everyone gets pissed off when they try heading the ball.

Medieval Advertising

2009-08-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

If I owned a store in the middle ages I'd invest in refrigerator magnets because with all those knights in shining armor it would be a great way to advertise.

Braille Movies

2009-08-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

I bet if they made movies in braille for the blind, nobody would watch the Lord of the Rings, because 3 hours of each movie would cause some serious fingertip chaffing.

quick thought

2009-08-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

I bet those mail bomb terrorists freak out every time they get a letter in their box that's stamped "Return To Sender"

Not A Great Recipie

2009-08-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

You probably thought a cute little bunny rabbit couldn't kill a human, but you'd be wrong, it killed two.

Though I pretty sure it had something to do with the seasoning I used.

Weak, I Know

2009-08-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

I know I should probably take every promise a politician makes with a grain of salt, but I'm worried about my cholesterol.

To the Future

2009-08-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

I think the reason that more people aren't excited about time traveling to the future is because once you get there your friends wont be able to read your twitter updates for like 1000 years.

Food Lion Trip

2009-08-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

At the Food Lion today I happened to be walking down the isle and saw a bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil that was misplaced.
Now I know corn oil comes from corn, peanut oil is made out of peanuts, and vegetable oil is extracted from vegetables, so ... is baby oil legal?

Online Standards

2009-08-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

Here's what I don't get, chicks dig guys that like little kids,
but you call yourself a little-kid-lover online and everybody freaks!

Man Rule 1

2009-08-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Guys should not be allowed to wear skinny jeans, unless they were a fat person's skinny jeans and the guy is of regular weight.

If you are ever attacked by a Female Assassin

2009-08-19T11:38:00.001-07:00

If I was ever attacked by a female assassin, instead of pulling out a gun to shoot her, I'd pull out a gift certificate to Chili's Restaurant, and in her confusion she'd stop her attack.

After a long dinner of good conversations we would go for a few drinks at a nice bar downtown then I'd drive her back to her place and give her a goodnight kiss and she would slip her number into my pocket which I would find later.

Then I would throw the number away and never call her back because that probably hurts worse than being shot with a gun.

Deep Thinkings from an Average Sized Mind

Daily Doodle: I Was Always Suspicious as a Kid

Daily Doodle: Underwater DUI

Daily Doodle: Procrastinating Noah

Daily Doodle: A Banana Flashing A Pear

Quick Thought

Daily Doodle: The Oldest Jedi Mind Trick in the Book

Daily Doodle: Why Midgets Can't Wear Red Jackets

Daily Doodle: The Power Rangers Being Randomly Assigned Their Colors

Daily Doodle: When Squids Fart

THE BLOG IS BACK

Tip of the Day

Daily Doodle: Conjoined Twin Commits Suicide

quick thought

Daily Doodle: 300, Spartan is Hesitant About Getting Mandatory Chest Wax

Daily Doodle: Where's Waldo: China (The Easiest Book)

The greatest band ever: The Buu

quick thought

Daily Doodle: The Little Mermaid 3: Ariel goes to China

poetic

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And got eaten by a bear

Daily Doodle: Prince Phillip Succombs to Peer Pressure

Daily Doodle: Layoffs at the Chocolate Factory Cause Problems

Just Bad

Quick Thought

Tooth-Fairy makes Bank

The Upside of Elephantiasis

quick thought

Try New Things

Old School Game

An Education Rant

Forgotten Memory #10

Dream-Catchers:

New Years Resolutions

Guy with a Dot on His Head

Vest's Purpose Revieled

quick thought

Still Thinking

another quick thought

What To Do With All That Change

quick thought...

1st post of the new year is the 200th post!

Daily Doodle: Whether it's a big, small, or just fast food, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Daily Doodle: Josh and Byron at the new Twilight premire

quick thought

in bad taste

Daily Doodle: This one's for you Justin

Daily Doodle: Cow and Potato on an Akward Lunch Date

Another Unnecessarily Morbid Doodle: The Count

Daily Doodle: For the Nerds

Daily Doodle: Don't Play With Your Food

Daily Doodle: A Dark Day in Disneyland

Daily Doodle: Biology Class is the Worst

Daily Doodle: Confusing Roadsigns

Nicknames

Sound Advice

Daily Doodle: Why Barney Was Canceled

quick thought

Finding Positive in the Negitive

Doughnut People

Daily Doodle: Don't Trust The Neighbors

Daily Doodle: The Backwards Mermaid Runs Away

Daily Doodle: Too Many Points...

Quick Sketches

Forgotten Memory #9

Mermaids have it better

Why Clowns Are So Scary

My problem with Emergency Brakes

Great Zoo Prank

Octo-pants

Preparing for the Future

Sci-Fi

Just Use a Gun

quick thought

Bit of a Stretch

Apoco-Tacos

How To Make French Fries

Gorilla Warfare

Shoot For The Stars, Even If You Miss You'll Hit The Moon

It's Like Stealing Quarters From a Fairy...

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And got eaten by a bear